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1月22日 Entry for January 21, 2008: Life...During the passing 25 years of living in this world... well, it is fun to know that life is so very colorful. With friends, with all kinds of education opportunity, with a healthy body, with a family that loves me because of love... i feel so very lucky， truely! year end 2007 entry: UWP, i miss you darlings...Dearest Cast A, I don't know, i miss all of you just sooooooooo much. Everything that i did with you were just in my mind... I miss the time that i was so surprised that you guys could be in such relaxation liying on the ground in a roll which was so funny, and you girls and boys; big kids and little kids, are so much closer to each other than i ever did in my life. In US and Europe countries, "having fun" and "relax" logic is so unique to me, that i was under great pressure all my life in the past 18 years (1990-2008: primary school, secondary school, till college till work right now). You guys are so confident, too! When i was in "hometeam" with Jeremy, Jen, Ammar, Madoka, Gaby, Mariana, Shanna, Kanto, Critina, Susan, (who else? tell me if i missed any one here!!), i remembered the first days that we talked in Auraria campus, we introduced ourselves to each other, we play game: true or false guessing game that we discribed several things of ourselves, and let people choose the right thing, that in this way we got to know much faster of eacher other. I think I have more connections with you guys even more than other native chinese that i was brought up with. Through all colors of your eyes, diamond blue, soil brown, grape green... i could see your heart, and could also put my heart into your beautiful trustworthiness. I feel so standing on the ground with sharing with you. I'm here having a question: Do you guys really really, truely truely feel that the "uppies" are different from people outside the group? I mean, I cannot communicate with other chinese about our special experience, i think it is because of strong culture difference: not many people like me, that feel so strong of being closer & intimate towards another culture other than the culture that we were born into. So as most of you guys are from US & EU, do you find it hard too? Any communication problems with sharing your experience? Oh la la... From when I was back home, till now, 13 months already, i was showering in the wierdness of not being with you guys. When I was trying to act as confident as being in our group, there was even no respond... I want so badly of sitting / lying on the floor having lunch with you guys, fighting on the carpet in the church, dancing and singing together...the best song that i learn was in that big mirror room, that Yasoyo taught me Hanamizuki, that i still can sing the whole song of it. & Whenever i was lonely, I'd love to sing it on the street, with all colors of leaves falling, and with lovely sunshine... I also remember that I played piano in that dancing room, it was an old piano, with a very simple old wooden chair, before dancing rehearsal, i played Chopin Etuden No12, the 2 min. revolution piece that i practised for months before coming to US. After my not very professional playing with not very mature skill, you sweet guys screemed and told me that it was beautiful. You were so many people that watching me, & at that I was so very shy, the warm reaction of you guys made me so happily scared... You just don't know how much that I wish to see all of you again. I'm a little pesimistic about it, since i don't quite believe that all of us could ever gather together again, and I even not sure about myself being able to make meeting with you again... I know that the world is small, that we can fly wherever. I'm like a little pink flower that with you guys as the soil, i can blossom to be having elegant small petals, with full confidence head-up under the sun. With you guys i know that anything that looks impossible, will become possible if we really put our hearts into. Hugs and Kisses to every single one of you... Yours, (i really mean "cindy belongs to you", like a drop of water in the sea) cindy |
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